late night questions

What does it sound like to be called by God?

When am I "grown up"?

What's the difference between following God and following myself?

How do I become a better listener?

Why do I want to go back to a place with desert, rattlesnakes, wind, and very few trees?

Will I be a good dog owner?

Will I ever figure anything out?

Is it possible to learn to live in confusion?

Why does my foot twitch sometimes?

Will I ever pay off my student loans?

Will I ever have a stable, full-time job?

Do I need a stable, full-time job?

What do I really need? I mean, really?

Why is chocolate milk so great?

Why do I do these things to myself?

Why are airplanes so loud?

Why did we choose to live next to an airport?

What will I feel like when this quarter is over?

What does God think about all of this?

Is God even still listening?

trying

I think I am beginning to realize that what I have wanted to do all along is something that I never believed I could actually do.

I thought about it, even attempted it once, but ultimately bowed out because there was no way I could fulfill my dreams. There was no way I could be good. This thing resided in the realm of "things I simply cannot do, end of discussion." Really, I'm not sure why this has always been so. But it has.

There is a reason that I gravitate toward certain movies and books. Of course I don't expect real life to perfectly mimic what I see and read, but they do contain unmistakable elements of truth. It is that truth that inspires me. I want my own life to embody that truth.

What if, even though I am afraid that I will fail, I do it anyway?

What if I try?

And what if I actually make it happen?