I never understood how deeply significant it can be to have someone know my name, or what I order at a certain restaurant, or how I am feeling when I make that face or have that tone of voice or say that certain thing. Being known is a weighty thing, no matter what level it is on. It has the power to validate my existence, reveal the depth of a relationship, exemplify someone's care for me. It makes me feel worthwhile. It makes me feel human.
When I started working at a small cafe/shipping center, I didn't have a clue how much having "regulars" would mean to me. I love that I have customers who come in every day, know my name, and take the time to share a little bit of their lives with me. They know when I normally work; I know their habits and how they like things just so. There is something inherently amazing about having someone recognize who you are and know that you are going to take care of them like you have in the past. It seems a small thing, but even that one thing--someone knowing my name--is incredible.
I also love that the baristas at work now know what I drink, and how I like my mochas with a little more chocolate and my Italian sodas with less half and half. And then there is how Ryan knows what I order at restaurants we always go to, or Mykell saves the sandwiches she knows that I like at the cafe, or Chris knows what music I'll like. Little things, I know, but they add up to someone paying attention to who I am and what I do every day-- and that means something.
In the past two years I have learned more about relationships than I ever thought possible. I have learned the power of having someone know you for who you are, and how important it is to seek to know others as well. I've begun to learn what it means to truly care about someone, and how much that grows with the more you come to know about that person. I've found people who know me on a deeper level than anyone ever has-- people who know what I need when I am stressed out and people who know how to tell when I am really excited (okay, actually just one person on that one) and people who know my deepest hopes for life. And more than anything, I've felt the grace and love offered to me by those people. They have showed me that it is okay to be who I am.
What is my point in all of this? We cannot forget the power of knowing another person. Even calling someone by name affirms their very existence and worth. In West Virginia, many of the people we worked with were more touched that people remembered that they existed than by the free construction done on their homes. We all want to feel like people see us. We all want to be human.
And to be honest, even after being with Ryan for a year, it still does something to me when I hear him say my name.
