Budgety things

So today is my long-awaited (ha!) post about Things to Do to Help Your Wedding Not Cost Millions of Dollars. Basically, I read way too many wedding blogs while I was planning the dang thing, and between the ridiculousness I read on those, and my own experiences, I learned a few things that you can (or shouldn't) do to save yourself a little money on your wedding. Magazines, TV, movies, and books tend to make it seem as if a wedding MUST be expensive. In reality, you can spend exactly as much or as LITTLE as you want to. Anyway. Here are the things that I learned... in list form!

1. First of all, wedding publications and people who "do" weddings for a living will tell you that you need certain things to make it a wedding. You don't. You don't need to buy a special set of expensive tools just to cut your cake. You don't need a veil. You don't need new shoes or expensive jewelry. You don't need letterpress invitations or calligraphy or individual wedding cakes for each guest. Heck, you don't even need wedding cake! Decide what is really meaningful to you and your families, and do those things. Trash all the rest.

2. Don't buy wedding magazines. I did, and they did me absolutely no good except make me want things I knew I couldn't afford. Plus, the magazines themselves are expensive.

3. If you want to save yourself SERIOUS money, have your wedding on any day other than Saturday. Weekdays are even better. Venues can often cost twice as much on a Saturday as they do any other day of the week. If you have to do a Saturday, consider an afternoon wedding. Often rental fees are cheaper for afternoon affairs, and afternoon weddings allow you to have the reception at a time when people won't expect a full meal-- thus saving you on catering costs as well.

4. Similarly, have your wedding in the off-season. The off-season varies sometimes depending on the vendor or event location, but generally it seems to be September to April, except for around Christmas. During these months, everything is cheaper-- we saved money on our photographer because of this, and found many event venues that were charging much less in April than then did during the summer.

5. DIY your flowers. I mentioned this in my last wedding post, but it is not as hard as it seems. It might be more difficult if you don't have a great farmer's market with tons of flowers like we do here (Pike Place!), but I've heard that grocery stores and even Costco have great prices on flowers. Florists can get INCREDIBLY pricey, so unless you want something super elaborate, consider doing them yourself. All it takes is a little floral tape, some wire, and some ribbon, and you're set. If you want basic florals like I did, DIY is the way to go.

6. You will read this all over the internet, but if you have friends with talents, use them. People usually WANT to be involved with your wedding, and it means so much more if your bridesmaids help you with your flowers than if a florist does them. That being said, don't set unrealistic expectations for friends who help with wedding services. If they agree to cater your wedding, remember in all dealings that they are friends first, and the caterer second. And thank them plenty!

7. I didn't take advantage of this, but there are great places out there with pre-owned wedding dresses, and lots of websites where people are selling dresses that might be brand new but never worn. Check those out along with regular stores.

8. Look at non-wedding specific places, because the word "wedding" usually hikes prices WAY up. For example, on websites specializing in "flower girl" dresses, they were very expensive-- like $100! WHY ON EARTH would you pay that money for a fancy dress the kid won't be comfortable in or ever wear again? We found cute white sundresses at The Children's Place for our girls that were about $30, and they were perfect. Try this tactic for bridesmaid dresses too.

9. Find creative options for food. I found a company that brings a pizza oven and cooks pizza for all the guests, and it would have been much cheaper than a traditional caterer would have been.

10. If you do find things in magazines or stores that you like but can't afford, don't be afraid to try and recreate them yourself. This works for a lot of the things in Martha Stewart Weddings, haha.

11. Don't forget about Value Village (or similar thrift stores)-- we got the mason jars for our centerpieces for $.49 a piece there. Places like IKEA are great too. I think our centerpieces cost MAYBE $5 each, thanks to those two places.

12. Last, but not least, remember that you don't have to have any of these things. You can have a backyard barbeque and wear a sundress from Forever 21 if you so desire. The only reason I didn't have a BBQ with lawn games-- my dream wedding-- is that the weather here is far from predictable. But try to broaden your view of what a "wedding" means, and choose something that fits your budget AND who you are as a couple. And check out www.apracticalwedding.com for thoughts along these lines.

I think that's it... I'll let you know if I think of anything else! Any questions???

Off topic

I know I said that the next post I would write would be wedding related, but this one won't be.

I want to write. Or rather, I want to rediscover writing the way I knew it when I was young.

I want to serve the deepest needs of the people around me.

I want to tackle poverty, homelessness, and hopelessness.

I want to finally, truly, deeply believe that God loves me.

How do I manage all those things at once?

Actually, how do I manage any of those things at all?

WEDDING GENIUS!

Yes, my blog has a new title (I am assuming, probably wrongly, that you even knew what the old title was). I feel a particular kinship with Dave Eggers. I read "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" years ago, when it seemed to be edgy and intelligent and the kind of book that you would only understand if you were the sort of creative, moody, and deep person that I imagined myself to be. I've recently read two more books, and I have come to the conclusion that you really don't need to be all that deep. Or intelligent. Also, Dave and I are basically friends because I volunteer at one of the chapters of his writing center "826". I almost got to meet him the other day, but I was feeling too lazy. True story. But someone who did told me that "he didn't seem as full of himself as he could have been." Interesting.

Well that is all neither here nor there, it just is. I have been intending to post again for a while now, because I have all of this WEDDING knowledge that is just banging around in my head, and no one I really know is getting married soon, so if I don't plop it all down somewhere, than all my hard work will have been for nothing. Okay so not really, but actually yeah.

Therefore, I am going to provide you all with a list of advice that I would give anyone who was getting married, provided they actually asked and trusted my advice. Hopefully some poor soul somewhere will google "WEDDING BLOG" or "WEDDING INSPIRATION" or "BUDGET WEDDINGS" and be directed to this delightful post. And I will change her life.

And now, I present:

THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT WEDDINGS THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW TOO BUT THE KNOT.COM WON'T TELL YOU:

1. It really doesn't matter. Whatever "it" is, trust me, it doesn't matter. At the end of the day you'll still be married. Unless both of your hands get cut off, thereby rendering you unable to sign the marriage certificate... and if that happens, that sucks.

2. If you don't figure it out beforehand, someone will figure it out the day of. Honestly. Don't let that be an excuse not to try to cover your bases, but don't stress too much. People will care enough about you to figure out a solution to any problem.

3. You don't need to buy a special knife/ serving set to cut the cake. I woke up the morning of and realized we had nothing to cut the cake with. We grabbed a knife from the kitchen, and that was that. It didn't matter that the knife was red...

4. If you don't have an appointment to do it during the week before the wedding, it won't be done.

5. If your sister's boyfriend grew up in a family of florists, force him to help you DIY the flowers. Or better yet, have him watch you screwing them up, and then he will HAVE to help you.

6. While we are on the topic, you should DIY your flowers. Seriously. It is not as hard as it seems. Go to a farmer's market (if you have an awesome one near you like I do) or a grocery store (I've heard even Costco has great wholesale flowers) and put the damn bouquets together yourself. We spent less than $150 for 6 bouquets, 9 bouts, centerpieces for 10 tables, and the arrangement for the alter. Have a few friends help, grab some floral tape, floral wire, and pins, and have at it. It really isn't that hard.

7. Things will go wrong the day of. They just will. But the good news is that you won't really see them as things going wrong. You'll be so happy that they will instead be "things that went differently than expected" and you will not care a bit.

8. If you are doing a "first look" sort of thing before the ceremony, have the photographer tell your fiance which way to turn when he sees you. This will prevent you from not having any pictures of his face during that moment :(. Oh well, life goes on.

9. The rehearsal will probably be stressful. But the day itself won't be.

10. EAT! And get someone to snag food for you at the reception.

11. Get all the family pictures done BEFORE the reception. We got really frazzled when we first got to the reception because we had people trying to get us to pose for what seemed like 25 different pictures at the same moment, and we didn't know what to do and just wanted to say hi to our friends.

12. Order more food than you think you will need. Especially if they are cookies. YUM.

Okay that is enough for now. I think my next post will be more specifically about saving money during the wedding process. I have learned a few things about it that I am sure you are DYING to know. And then I will finally be able to move on with my life and think about something other than wedding.

Thanks for stopping by.

Oh, and if you DID google and find and read my blog, leave a comment! I don't think that would ever happen, so if it miraculously does I'd like to know!