fortunes

last Sunday, on a lazy afternoon plagued by desperate hunger and no desire to expend the energy needed to make food, I settled for some good old, slightly questionable Safeway Chinese food. My sweet and sour chicken-- as greasy-good as I remembered it-- was accompanied by the usual nondescript fortune cookie and cheesy fortune.

"you will receive unexpected support over the next week. accept it graciously."

good, I think to myself. my best friend is across the world with no means of communication. I sure could use some support for the next few days. 

and support I got. from my boss, recognizing that I was stressed out and offering to help in any way she could. from conversations with friends in the early morning slowness of the store we work at. from time spent with roommates I had felt I was growing apart from. from family. from bad jokes told by customers. from always patient answers to my never-ending questions at my new jobs. from small children looking for a friend and a lap to sit in. from firemen, even. from all angles imaginable.

looking back on it now, I wonder: did I see all these incredible acts of support, however small, because I was already on the lookout for them?

if my fortune cookie hadn't set my mind on the lookout for types of support, would I have noticed these things or recognized the value in them? had my fortune cookie alerted me to the possible presence of, say, danger, would I have noticed a completely separate set of events from what did stick in my mind this week?

such suggestion is more powerful than we think. if we are prompted to look at things in a certain light, we are naturally going to find it easy to pick out the things that validate that way of looking at it. if we think our lives are boring and miserable, we are going to only notice the things that validate this view-- and if something doesn't, we will warp it so that it does. if we are told from the start that all homeless people are dangerous and just want money to buy alcohol, every situation or behavior in which a homeless person is involved will be evaluated in that light. if we are told that women are less capable and intelligent than men, we will only notice instances where this is true. and on, and on. 

I wonder if any of us even know what we are being told to notice and what ideas are being suggested to us that influence the way we perceive situations. not everything is written so clearly on a tiny piece of paper folded up inside of a cookie.