back again

It's been a while since I have posted anything in here. I often think about posting something, but then the pressure to write something good hits me, and I am afraid that there is no way I can make my day to day activities and thoughts as interesting as everyone else seems to. I mean, I was an English major, right? I should be able to churn out an interesting blog entry every once in a while. Every other SPU English Department alum seems to. Well, anyway. This blog is about my life, not theirs. 

So I'm getting married. About, uh.... 62 years too early, according to the estimation I swore by until a little over a year ago. Sometimes this makes me feel old, like when I talk about cooking in "my kitchen" and look at couches at Crate and Barrel. And sometimes, this makes me feel young, especially when I meet with potential vendors and become acutely aware of how much I resemble a preteen. But both ways, getting married is equally terrifying and amazingly exciting. No one ever talks about how scary being in love is. You've been given something incredible and you can't imagine your life ever being without it again, and suddenly, you've got something to lose. The stakes are higher. But at the same time, it's great. Okay... I'm starting to ramble. My point: being in love is scary but only because of how much the person means to you. Alright.

So now things like centerpieces and wedding dresses and favors have entered my life. I have watched enough episodes of Bridezillas to know what not to do, and I think I have a good enough attitude about it being just one day that I won't go all crazy. Still, the wedding industy is a large and tempting monster. Sometimes it looks friendly, but then I back up a little bit and see teeth and saliva and realize I am staring straight down its throat-- and that it has really bad breath. So then I run. So I think I'm okay. 

This is my life now: stalking wedding blogs instead of facebook, watching past seasons of Lost, checking out world music from the library to expose my kids at work to other cultures, and driving from Ballard to Burien. Life is different now than I expected it to be. Not such a bad thing, I think.